Wholly Incomplete and Incompletely Whole
by Irhaboggles
Summary: After Elphaba flees Shiz, she leaves two heartbroken women in her wake. One is her sister, Nessa. And the other is her girlfriend, Glinda. With her gone, they are left wholly incomplete and they must fix the mess that she left behind. They begin to lean on one another deeply and, through each other, find a small way to become incompletely whole once again.


The days following Elphaba's disappearance were rough, but the two people suffering the most of all were Glinda Upland and Nessarose Thropp. Being Elphaba's girlfriend and sister respectively, of course her choice to go underground had affected them most. Because of that, the two were quick to lean on one another, realizing that they were the only ones in the entire world who missed Elphaba _that _much. But for better or for worse, it was not just their mutual pining for the green girl that brought them together. Since each girl knew that the other was one of Elphaba's most favorite people in the entire world, part of the reason they began to grow close was because each of them began to see the other as a remnant of Elphaba, a living breathing memory of the green girl since her swift departure had not allowed for a proper farewell.

With each passing day, Glinda found herself growing... obsessed with Nessarose. For lack of a better word, because it was not love but it was more than simple friendship, Glinda found herself growing devoted to Nessa. It was as if a tiny part of her was trying to bring Elphaba back through her younger sister. And if that sounded a bit cruel and unfair to Nessa, Nessa was honestly doing the same thing with Glinda. Nessa hadn't been too close to Elphaba, but Elphaba had still been such a big part of her life anyway. To hear that the green girl had gone away and was not coming back was a huge blow to Nessa. She was quick to turn to Glinda, not just for comfort, but because she knew that there was no one Elphaba loved more than her. Glinda was Elphaba's heart and soul, so if Nessa wanted any part of Elphaba back, she knew she would find it in Glinda.

So these two heartbroken souls, wholly incomplete without Elphaba in their lives, drew themselves together instead. They used each other to fill that Elphaba-shaped hole in their chests in order to become incompletely whole again. It wasn't the world's greatest solution, but it was the best they had. It was all their grieving minds could think to do: start leaning on one another, for support, warmth, encouragement and protection.

"Mmm, Fabala did always speak so fondly of you," Nessa sighed, leaning against Glinda's shoulder as the two of them sat out on the grass in front of the dorms. It was spring out, so it was warm and soft. They were stargazing and reminiscing together. Nessa's wheelchair sat about a foot away. Upon her request, Glinda had carefully lifted her out of it so that she could sit beside Glinda properly. So now there she sat, the younger Thropp sister, without her wheelchair and with her head resting against Glinda's shoulder. It was very similar to what her older sister would've done, had she still been around to do it. This was something neither of them missed, and something Glinda clung to dearly.

The moment Nessa had requested being lifted out of her wheelchair and placed on the grass so that she could sit beside Glinda properly, Glinda had obeyed. Without even hesitating, heart pounding, she picked Nessa gingerly up, holding her tightly in her arms, cradling her close before lowering her back down onto the soft green grass below their feet. Although it felt wrong, and although Glinda knew it kind of was wrong, she indulged in the feeling of Nessa's warm, smooth skin pressed up against hers. And not only that, but she reveled in the sound of Nessa's voice, pleading with her to allow them to sit so close together. Even though it had been Nessa who had made that request, all Glinda heard was Elphaba. She heard _Elphaba _asking to sit beside her again, and unable to deny her beloved green girl such a request, Glinda hastily made room for Nessa, instantly pulling Nessa close to her chest the same way she had done with Elphaba so many times before. Nessa was fast becoming a surrogate Elphaba for Glinda and vice versa. And as unhealthy as both of them knew it to be, neither Nessa nor Glinda wanted it to stop.

"She was devoted to you, Glinda, devoted," Nessa continued, twisting around until her face was buried in Glinda's neck. Nessa breathed Glinda in, as if trying to inhale some of Elphaba's lingering scent on the blond's pale skin as well.

"And she adored you too, Nessie," Glinda whispered, stroking Nessa's long, rich, brown hair. It was a few shades lighter than Elphaba's and not quite as thick and wild and ratty, but it was close enough to bring Glinda some basic comfort. Stroking Nessa's hair now took her back to all the days and nights when she had been playing with Elphaba's hair instead. And she even dared to use Elphaba's nickname for Nessa as well. It sent shivers down Nessa's spine and she longed to hear Glinda say that name again, even though it brought some pain to her heart to hear it.

"I know you two didn't always get along, but Elphaba cared a great deal for you," Glinda continued. "She was always looking out for you..." and then she recounted all the times Elphaba had dropped whatever she was doing in order to come to Nessa's side. A couple of these examples even delved into nights when it was supposed to have only been Elphaba and Glinda, and not Nessa. But Nessa would interfere anyways, only thinking of herself as she cried out for Elphaba, forcing the green girl to put Glinda on hold while she went to tend to Nessa's needs first.

Glinda's words were rather harsh and accusatory but her tone was nothing but kind, gentle, fond and reminiscent. She was truly only trying to remember these events as they happened and seemed to have zero grudges against Nessa for any times the younger Thropp sister demanded that the older one be returned to her, even if it came at Glinda's expense. Glinda recounted all the times Nessa had ruined something for Elphaba, and for her, but her voice was hazy and dreamy, totally nonjudgmental. And Nessa listened in a similar manner.

Even though she knew she should've felt bad to realize how controlling she'd been over Elphaba's life, even while hearing Glinda give first-hand testimony to all the times Nessa had interrupted something between them, Nessa felt nothing as she listened to Glinda talk. Glinda might've been talking about the weather for all the reaction Nessa was giving her. But even though Nessa was unapologetic about what she had done in the past, she was glad to hear these stories now anyway. It felt like a way of bringing Elphaba back.

But as the days went on, it wasn't even just about Elphaba anymore. Nessa began to genuinely crave Glinda's attention and affection. Even if Glinda only ever saw her as a second Elphaba, Nessa didn't care. All she wanted was Glinda. Not necessarily romantically, or the way Elphaba had wanted her, but Nessa had since become possessive of Glinda in the same way she used to be possessive of Elphaba. Glinda really was acting as a surrogate Elphaba for Nessa. Not a surrogate sister, a surrogate Elphaba. She was making Nessa incompletely whole again, curing her of being wholly incomplete without her green-skinned sister at her side. Nessa truly craved Glinda's time and company. She loved to listen to the blond girl talk, and sing, and ramble and rant. She loved to feel the girl's manicured nails run through her hair and down her back. It felt nice. And she liked how Glinda would allow her to move freely without her chair instead of insisting that she needed to be strapped into it all the time. Glinda respected her desire of freedom and had no judgements to make about her ugly and emaciated legs. She was the only one to look at Nessa's broken and frail lower limbs and not cast any sort of judgement, whether it be disgust or pity. That's what Nessa liked most of all about Glinda.

But the feeling was mutual. Whether or not Nessa was truly aware of it, Glinda began to love her just as deeply and sincerely. Of course Nessa still brought memories of Elphaba to Glinda, but Glinda began to grow fond of Nessa too, for who she was, and not who her sister was. She enjoyed the company of the younger Thropp girl and regretted not befriending her sooner. Glinda began to show Nessa special treatment, doing her best to visit the younger Thropp whenever she could, and then spoiling her with riches every time they spoke. Glinda kept an eye on Nessa always, not just in honor of Elphaba, but because she wanted to know what Nessa. Glinda truly liked Nessa, and wanted to see her as much as possible.

There finally came a day when the two found themselves sitting beside Suicide Canal late one Saturday night. Elphaba had been gone for about two months now and even though Nessa and Glinda both still grieved her quite fiercely, some of that pain was finally starting to fade. The duo sat alone together under the stars, overseeing the smooth dark waters of the canal. They were chatting so quietly only they could hear one another. Once again, Nessa's chair had been left behind in order for her to be able to better access Glinda's own body, and Glinda had since wrapped a protective and possessive arm around Nessa.

"I care very much for you, Nessie, dear," Glinda murmured softly into Nessa's ear.

"And I you," Nessa breathed back, speaking even softer than Glinda. She felt Glinda pulling her in close (or was she leaning in all by herself?) and suddenly, their lips had someone managed to meet together in the middle. Neither Nessa nor Glinda knew who had started it, but suddenly, they were kissing. Nuzzling, touching and caressing, the two brokenhearted souls embraced and kissed one another under the dim light of the crescent moon. The water rippled in front of them as they continued to kiss. It was a small, soft, gentle kiss, but still rife with passion, grief and desperation. It was almost sick to see, just because it was clear that even though there was genuine fondness in that kiss, a lot of it was just done out of loneliness and desperation. As pure as the kiss was, there was a lot of selfishness to it, and some of it was for Elphaba as well. Some of that kiss, on both sides, was going towards Elphaba. Even though she had been gone for two months now, the impact she'd had on Glinda and Nessa could not be stated enough. And as the two continued to kiss in the moonlight, they weren't just seeing one another, they were also seeing the girl that they had lost, and wanted back so desperately.

In Nessa, Glinda found a new friend and lover. And she found someone to grieve with. In Nessa, Glinda found a new partner and confidante, and the kiss she gave Nessa was bittersweet and deep, thankful and apologetic at the same time. Nessa, meanwhile, found a new older "sister", a new companion, a new helper, and someone who genuinely respected her for who she was. Even if Glinda still could see parts of Elphaba in Nessa, at least she wasn't only seeing the wheelchair, or the deformed legs. To Nessa, that was one of the best things about Glinda. Glinda was beautiful, soft, gentle, friendly, and surprisingly wise and comforting. Nessa liked taking shelter with her, hiding with her, and finding someone who could really relate to her and didn't just pity her for being tragically beautiful.

So these two girls, both wholly incomplete without Elphaba in their lives anymore, had managed to find one another instead and draw closer together now that Elphaba was gone. It wasn't a flawless setup, but it gave the pair something real to cling to. It gave them something of Elphaba to hold onto. It gave them a distractor and comforter. And for that, neither of them regretted the strange and tangled love they were falling into. Was it romantic? Ehhh, that was debatable. Was it sexual? Not as far as either of them knew. Was it platonic? Closer, but that didn't seem quite right either. Sisterly? Nah. But even though neither of them could quite place what type of love it was they were feeling (if indeed it really was love at all, and not a misapplication of grief) it was still quite nice and it brought the two lost souls closer together, and back down to the ground once more. It made them just a little bit fuller and a little bit happier. It made them incompletely whole, that is to say, through one another, some of that void Elphaba left behind was filled. But at the same time, there was still something missing...

"But for tonight, who cares?" Glinda asked softly, hazily, wrapping her arms around Nessa again.

"No one at all," Nessa replied, nuzzling into Glinda's side and taking a deep breath as she lay in the little blond's embrace. So there, two months after Elphaba's disappearance, the two people that she had left behind found solace and wholeness in each other, in a rather twisted, but still very genuine way. They were wholly incomplete and incompletely whole at the same time, drawn together and apart again by the same mysterious force they called Elphaba Thropp.

"Stay with me, Glinda," Nessa pleaded as she thought once more about her absent older sister.

"Only if you promise never to leave me," Glinda replied, thinking along the same track.

"I promise," Nessa vowed.

"Then so do I," Glinda replied, then the two fell silent once more, just getting lost in the twinkling stars shining far over their heads.

**AN: Weird little Nessa/Glinda because I do wish we could've seen some more interaction between them (in book or musical).**


End file.
